young girls trying to be something you’re not. not everything in real life will look as pretty as the shit you see on tumblr.
hustle, work hard - and maybe you won’t have to spend all your time staring at your freaking screen, wishing and wanting.
I am a person who
wishes wants things a certain way. I hope for certain events to play out the way I expect them to - and will do things to direct that stream in MY preferred direction.
I am a “control” person. I like things done a very “particular” way. I have expectations of people, events, jobs, etc etc.
When I am not in CONTROL, I lose my shit. I get upset, I damn the Gods, and sometimes will yell at my boyfriend (Sorry boyfriend, love you.) Being a control person and being an artist is a VERY bad combo, wait - let me reword that - an UNCOMFORTABLE combo.
NOTHING will ever go as planned. No matter how hard you work, how hard you suck up to your superiors, how much extra work you put in - there is ALWAYS room for error and unexpected twists/turns.
I come from a (Asian) family of traditional expectation. Maybe that’s where the “control thing” came from. I was groomed and raised a certain way by my parents - with an expectation bestowed onto to me that I would grow up to be a successful doctor, nobel peace prize physicist, or genius mathematician. Unfortunately for them, I preferred to eat wax crayons (calm down, I don’t do that anymore) and drew on every possible thing in the house.
It’s been almost a decade since I’ve started this journey to become a self sufficient artist/photographer. I’ve done the odd jobs, the contracted retoucher/edittor, retail jobs, and everything else in between (except for taking my clothes off for money - aren’t you proud Mom?), dropped out University to do God knows what, and went back to attain my Bachelor degree in Photography.
But let me tell you - uncomfortable is a good thing. It’s pushed me to deal with a lot of different people (sometimes not the nicest people), forgive people, humble myself when necessary, and make some hard (but right) decisions. This will be very weapons to help become your OWN success.
Embrace inconvenience. Embrace fear. It is all there for a reason. It is there to nurture personal growth. Vulnerability is a good THING. I’ve seen and witnessed too many artists let it all get to their head (money, reputation, ego) - and still are not happy with themselves.
Learn to “un-control”. Make hard decisions & let go, the inconvenience is temporary. You are armed with experiences and resilience. You CAN get to where you want to be.
All my love,
Me and my lady friend had the most amazing day yesterday. Spa Day, eating, and more eating. I needed this.